Sunday, February 20, 2022

Lamentation of a son

 My dearest Mama
O Ma!
If only tears could bring healing
Or erase the darkness of the past
Then the song would have been different
Song of joy ever will be

O life!
What a life
Full of memories
Hunting memories
Not easy to fend off

Time has gone thee by
Yet old memories seem just past
Like the mark of the unknown
Stamped everlasting on the skin
Constantly upsetting the mind
With so much guilt 
With so much regrets
Why why why
Why why why

Not once not twice 
I felt the whip of Ma
For foolish crimes of a stupid son
Crimes yet to be explained
Crimes yet to be justified
Though soft and tender words of Ma
All the time she committed
Cajoling, begging for a good son
Yet just fear and pain she got 
From a son who never compromised

O Ma!
O Ma!
My dear Ma
Regret is tearing a son apart

Yes a holy type I was not
A likable type I was neither
Love at first sight just a fairy tale
Tales of misfortune very real
The center of ill judgment I ever was
Present not present matters not
Yet that love for me never ceased to flow
As life just had to go on Ma

My words O My my judgment
My actions O Ma my condemnation
My laughter O Ma my treachery
My happiness O Ma my adversary
Solitary O Ma the option
Ah Ma! Your gentle breast my comfort always

Commonsense though very common
Commonness to me seems not exist
For with ease siblings excel
Knowledge and wisdom just illusions be
Harassment and insult so much they add
How I wished my past be deleted 
Yet never once you stopped encouraging

How can I forget the sleepless nights
How can I forget the painful nights
How can I forget the dreadful cries
How can I forget the fear in your eyes
When all deep in slumber be
All through the night "what is history" you defined
That "What is history" my name it became 

Appreciate thee Ma for the grace to endure
Appreciate thee Ma for the strength you gave
Appreciate thee Ma I chose not to depart
For now I know with the wind I drifted not
For a destination with precision you prepared
Across the river Ma that destination lies

O Ma!
O Ma!
My dear Ma
How I wish
The tears I caused never did occur
The pains I cause I never did
The embarrassment I caused never did happen
The silliness of me never did exist

Remember the gentleness in your tender voice
A hater of man never be my son
Songs of hate sing them not my son
Retribution seek thee not son
For choose to pray my dear son
My God my Lord your fortitude ever be my son

I know I can never you repay Ma
I know I can never you replace Ma
I know lamentation changes nothing Ma
Regrets I know changes nothing Ma
On bended knees to you I say sorry
For all I put you through O Ma I say sorry
Accept the cry of a helpless son Ma
My love for you will never die Ma




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